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Beginners guide to sex toys |
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What are Sex Toys?
Sex Toys are a general term which covers everything from the classic vibrators through to things like penis rings, which can also have medical benefits. Some of the basic categories are;
Butterfly - These battery operated vibrating toys stimulate the clitoral and vaginal region. They strap into place and can be worn discretely under clothing. These come with the controls attached by a wire or by remote control
Non-vibrating Dildos/Dongs - Usually phallic shaped, to be used by inserting into the vagina or anus for stimulation. They can be made of plastic, silicone, latex, and more 'artful' ones are now being produced using glass and metal.
Vibrators - These are often phallic in design, but other shapes such as curves (to hit the G-Spot) and now even the rubber duckies are becoming very popular. They have one or more motors which power rotating weights causing them to 'vibrate'. The more expensive ones have better, and more, motors, often with variable speed settings. They vary in size from lipstick sized to many inches in length. G-Spot vibrators can look like a small hockey stick with a curve at the tip to stimulate the G-Spot. It works best if inserted with the curve facing up towards the stomach. These vibes are helpful because it is virtually impossible for a woman to stimulate her g-spot to orgasm by herself.
Jelly Vibrators - These vibes are coated with gelatin rubber and are whisper quiet. Soft and sometimes flexible, these are a popular choice.
Waterproof Vibrators - For those that love to play in the tub, spa or anyplace that has water, these vibrators are water friendly.
Deluxe Vibrators - The "Rabbit" style of vibrator which was popularised by the US TV show, Sex in the City. The difference is that a rabbit vibrator has an additional 'limb' that is designed to vibrate on and stimulate the clitoris, whilst the main shaft is inserted into the vagina. These can also be used by men, for anal penetration, using the external vibrator to tickle the scrotum. The ultimate for Three-way stimulation, they excite the labia, G-Spot and clitoris simultaneously for truly explosive orgasms!
Vibrator Kits - If you are unsure as to what vibe to purchase, a vibrator kit may be a good option and can contain some wonderful extra toys to add to your lovemaking. Most kits include a vibrator with a selection of sleeves to experiment with. Great fun for two!
Eggs & Bullets - A type of mini vibrator, usually with a separate battery pack. Just a very small egg or bullet shaped object which vibrates. These are the smallest and most versatile vibrators available. 1”to 3”long, these are usually made out of plastic and can come with sleeves. Most bullets are operated by a thin cord attached to a battery pack where their controls are located. Don’t let their size fool you as they can be very intense. New remote products are now available.
Masturbators - Usually tube shaped toys for men to insert their penis into. These are popular as a way of getting an orgasm through a different method of stimulation. Many are realistically styled to imitate the entrance to the vagina, anus or mouth for visual as well as physical stimulation. Many masturbators also feature a vibrating Egg or Bullet which is inserted into the sleeve to provide added stimulation.
Anal Beads - Specially designed for insertion into the anus. Standard vibrators should not be inserted into the anus because they do not have a flange to stop them being 'sucked up' into the back passage. Anal beads and plugs all have a type of retainer to prevent this. Also toys of any type should not be used on both the anus and vagina because of the risk from bacteria.
Choosing a sex toy for you or your partner
If you are a beginner with sex toys just remember, we all were once! Pleasure toys are much more common than society would have us believe. Introducing sex toys to a relationship is as much about the stimulation in communication it often brings, as the physical stimulation. As with anything you should start small and slowly and work up. This is so both you and your partner can see what enjoyment sex toys can bring without shock, or discomfort!
Smaller vibrators, and ones which don't try and look overtly phallic are popular starter ones. Do remember to use good quality, water-based lubricant with all sex toys. It really makes a difference to being able to use them both internally and externally, even if there is plenty of natural lubrication. Lube is almost a sex toy in itself as hands and other parts feel very different when made very slippery!
If you want a toy that is completely non-phallic then try a waterproof sponge. Nobody can feel threatened or sleazy with these, and leaving it around the house isn't a problem either. Excellent for a bath time back massage, and if things progress it can be even more enjoyable in the more sensitive areas.
Popular for couples looking to increase the pleasure from intercourse are vibrating cockrings. So small that they just fit between you to stimulate the clitoris and feel good for the man too, without getting in the way. Again they are very disarming and non-threatening to the beginner. A great first toy.
Introducing a sex toy
People often worry about this a lot before they do it and then realise that the worry was completely unjustified and their partner was very 'warm' to the idea! Every situation is different and we can't hope to give you a fool proof plan for everybody. Be sensitive and think about your partner's feelings, timing can be all important. Whether you wrap it up as a present, leave it under the pillow in a black velvet bag, or introduce it into foreplay, giving your partner time to think about using toys will make all the difference when it comes to putting your toy to use.
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